Call This # Now by The Garden


Illustrious and enigmatic Californian punk rock twins Wyatt and Fletcher Shears have been making music under the moniker of the Garden on and off since 2008. High fashion models by day, truly confusing punk provocateurs by night; their jarring, addictive songs are scary reflections of their shared skewed worldview.


Call This # Now opens with a bar or two of high octane, shrieking hardcore, which didn’t give me much hope for the track. However, when the ‘real’ song kicked in, I couldn’t have been more pleasantly surprised. It’s weird, real weird. My appreciation of the song is partly due to its sheer ridiculousness, but also because it’s one of the more infectious earworms I’ve come across this year.

After the brief annoyance of the jarring intro, The Garden pull you into a nightmarish, claustrophobic, neon-lit hotel lobby overflowing with slimy, perfumed, lounge music. The song is an Ariel Pink-esque excursion into the world of disorienting anti-pop, complete with impatient, manufactured bursts of brass that leave before you acknowledge their presence, wubbing bass guitar and borderline hilarious whistles that sound like they’ve been ripped wholesale from an early 2000s sound effects CD.

The song could easily be written off as either a comedy song or a precocious attempt to be avant-garde, but as somebody who has met and personally witnessed the weirdness of the constantly confounding human scarecrows that are the Shears twins, I can attest that the song is authentically absurd.

Thanks to the heavy compression on Wyatt’s vocals, it’s as if you’ve called a 1980s sex hotline, as the aloof Californian coos “if you wanna check it out/ just do yourself a favour/ and just call this number now”

Sounds like:

Brad Pitt performing an 80s rap song over the music that plays in shopping centres in old Pokemon games.

Watch out for:

Their Instagram antics. You’re going to want to follow them.

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